The "Going Out Shirt"

 

III LifeBehindBars III

A blog about bars and the wonderful life of depravity behind them.

 The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.--Humphrey Bogart

  The “Going Out Shirt”

 

The going out shirt is as much a part of L.A. as smog and sunsets.  You know that shirt – shiny, tangy, and tacky. The shirt screams:  “I’m not at work and I’m not sitting around my apartment drinking a bottle of Jack in the dark!  I’m going out and people better damn well take notice!

 

The going out shirt is a staple with the packs of newbie’s and just arrives in LA,  who after checking out the nightlife their first weekend deem it necessary to run red lights to the nearest designer store, slap down daddies plastic and stock up on the shiniest shirts money can buy. I believe this is a learned trait of the going out shirt guy who just arrived from nowhere- Nebraska or little - town- Tennessee looking to make his way and fit in. I myself from nowhere- middle- America had the good fortune of not falling prey to this pit hole of doucebaggery if only because of not being able to afford such designer flashy look at me that hot chick across this dim lit bar is sure to see me now shirt.

 

I did however have a Hawaiian shirt phase that I brought from Minneapolis, possibly forged from the fact that it’s minus 20 and wearing this was a rebellion against old man winter while fantasizing about what life must be like in the sunshine and smog of L.A. I was able to survive this and live a some what normal but hardly stable life by moving to Burbank where no one knows any better anyways. It seems where you live dictates this or at least contributes to the total lack of self control one has when dressing himself.

 

Slinking through the doors of the clubs and cocktail lounges of Hollywood and the westside you’re sure to see the standard black shirt being worn with the plastic faces and fake smiles of L.A.’s finest as well as seeing the sparkled, striped or sequined shirt screaming for the attention of a strawberry daiquiri drinking college chick at places like Saddle Ranch or Miyagi’s. Not that the wonderment and amazement of the going out shirt ends only in Hollywood as your sure to find them most anywhere like down in the South Bay where dudes look like they slapped on a baby gap t-shirt wearing MMA “fightwear” shirts trying to out retard one another with their shiney foiled lettering in places like Dragon, Shore or Union Cattle. Places like the Valley have a whole other take on the going out shirt. Any corner bar that’s looking to attract the young imbiber by giving drink specials you’re going to find that dude who went to the mall store and found a shirt with some sort of sexual innuendo, alcohol reference or movie quote t-shirt that in the 7^th grade may have been funny for the shock value but makes the girls run like hell and you look like a creeper. There are too many to name in the Valley where you can see this but if you want to check out Burbank Bar & Grill or Skinnys in North Hollywood your sure to find some.

 

I dare anyone who is out and about to snap a pic of the going out shirt guy and send it in to me. I’ll post the offenders pics and vote for the worse (best) offensive shirt.

 

Winners will receive - well probably not much due to the downward spiral of the economy, but I’ll definitely give you a free case of Angel City beer for bringing us all enjoyment at the expense of others.

 

*Pardon the grammar, run on sentences and anything else you feel the need to disparage about my diatribe. I will not, and do not claim to be a writer, merely just an observer of life in, around and behind bars.